Wake Service Reflection for Sister Ruth Margaret Karabensh – November 6, 2024
2nd Corinthians 4:14 – 5:1
“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, because we look not to what is seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.”
The life we live now with all its ups and downs, with all its blessings and challenges, truly is preparing us for what is yet to come - for what is promised to us through the hope of Christ’s resurrection. Sister Ruth Margaret believed in this promise of everlasting life. Through her strong faith, she focused on the unseen and the eternal, on something beyond the senses, and something beyond the logic of the world. I think this gave Sister Ruth Margaret courage as she neared the end of her life.
Sister Ruth Margaret lived a good long life. Ninety-five years, even in the monastery, is an above average lifespan really. And yet death always comes as a bit of a shock. True, Sister Ruth Margaret was not in good health these past few years, she was somewhat weak and experiencing several health challenges related to the aging process. We could see a gradual decline over the years. And yet - and yet her death still startles us. I was startled – receiving the call at work that she was with Sister Mariah in the Emergency Room. Staying with her for the next few hours, what seemed to me as a rapid decline startled me. I somehow knew that the end was near. But I was still startled when I woke the next morning to a note on our white board from Sister Nicole telling us that Sister Ruth Margaret passed away. That familiar face, that familiar voice - we won’t have her around anymore. And that pains us, and we will miss her.
We Sisters feel her loss when we gather in the chapel and look at this empty seat in the front row. Sister Ruth Margaret was faithful in coming to prayer. Even in the years where she couldn’t see well enough to follow along in prayer and fully participate, she was there praying silently right along with the community.
Sister Ruth Margaret’s family feels the loss. She was the seventh of ten children. Her love for family was strong and enduring. She stayed connected. Daily phone calls with her sister Marion sustained her for a good many years. Sister Ruth Margaret was interested in Marion’s life, her family’s life and the life of all her siblings. What a blessing it was when Marion, Ruth, and others would come to visit Ruth Margaret here at the monastery. Whoever passed by the lower kitchenette was invited in for coffee, snacks (which often included donuts and/or frosted animal crackers) and visiting. I was blessed with that opportunity more than a few times!
Those who cared for her, those who knew her, feel the loss. Sister Ruth Margaret was so grateful for the care that was provided for her. If you did even the smallest thing for her - the thank you from her was huge and the promise of prayer was heartfelt and sincere. We will miss her gentle spirit. She touched the lives of many people.
As I reflect on Sister Ruth Margaret’s life and the reading this evening from 2nd Corinthians, I see beautiful connections with Sister Ruth Margaret’s life. As St. Paul did, Sister Ruth Margaret placed Christ in the center of her life.
This year Sister Ruth Margaret celebrated her 73rd year of monastic profession. The life of being a Benedictine Sister of Annunciation Monastery was filled with opportunities to cultivate relationships with whom she worked at Priory High and Mary College; at St. Alexius and the Garrison hospital; at various mission assignments; at the monastery. She extended hospitality in such a warm and loving way. I think all of this gives evidence that she saw and honored the Christ within everyone she encountered. She humbly gave of herself in service to others, be it as a switchboard operator for over 40 years, providing simple yet creative ways to make the places she lived feel homey and comfortable, driving and caring for the sisters, and shopping and running errands for them as well - just to name a few. A quote from Sister Ruth Margaret in the Fall 2019 issue of Tidings: “If I can do little things to brighten someone’s day, it makes me happy.”
I first met Sister Ruth Margaret when I was discerning to be a member of the community. At that time, I was working at Target and here she comes, walking down the aisle looking for me - she was running errands for the sisters. Later, she tells me that she was scoping me out - who was this young person wanting to join our community. She told me I had passed the test. When I asked her how I passed the test she said I sold her a radio that she didn’t even really want. I remember it and I really thought she wanted a radio!
Sister Ruth Margaret was faithful to God especially through her prayer life. Attending morning, mid-day and evening prayer with the community was important to her. Her personal prayer was consistently made up of praying for others, for the church and for the world. How many of us received notes from Ruth Margaret promising prayers? I have a birthday note from her that I received years ago. I keep it in my Sunday Prayer book and encounter it often and for sure near my birthday as we pray through the weekly cycle - I’ll keep it forever - “For a Special Sister - Happy birthday Sister Nancy, Blessings to you for the many ways you serve the community and ME. You have my daily holy prayers. Enjoy the day! Sister Ruth Margaret.”
The last several years of Sister Ruth Margaret’s life had been challenging for her as she experienced a decline in her health. Ever so gradually she had to pull away from operating the switchboard, providing table decorations in our dining room, doing anything that exerted energy. She didn’t like it, she wanted to be of use. Her eyesight began to dim, her hearing to diminish, her energy depleted. Yet, with Christ as the center of her life, her ministry of prayer blossomed forth and she was at peace with that. She said, “To me, the power of prayer is more important than the work I do.” It was beautiful. And she was a delight to be with. Her sense of humor did not ebb one bit.
Sister Ruth Margaret was ready to meet God. She spoke of this readiness a lot in her last months. Again from St. Paul, “So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.”
Ruth Margaret showed us how to live a life of hope. She showed us how to give oneself in service to others. She showed us the power of prayer. She shows us now the power and grace of God’s love continuing to be at work in her, in heaven and in all of us here on earth.
Sister Ruth Margaret, thank you for your Christlike presence among us. We count on your prayers for us from heaven just as you count on our continued prayers for you. Even in our grief and pain of losing you - we rejoice with you as dwell in God’s house, eternal in the heavens. Amen.
